'An Irishman goes to the local pub to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, like he does every day, and gets wasted out of his mind. He stumbles outside when the bartender tells him that he's had enough, but he can barely walk. So he leans up against a tree, where he passes out. A few minutes later, a couple of fine lassies go walking by. One says to the other one, "Do you think they wear anything under those kilts?" She admits that she doesn't know. So they go to check it out. She lifts up the kilt and sees him in all his glory. As they replace the kilt and get ready to walk away, an idea enters one of their heads. "Give me your blue hair ribbon," she says. Reluctantly, she hands it over. She goes back over to the Irishman, lifts up the kilt, and ties the ribbon to him. They walk away laughing.
A few hours later, the drunk gets up to take a piss. He stands up, walks over to the bushes, hikes up his kilt, looks down and sees the blue ribbon. He thinks for a minute and says, "To be perfectly honest, I don't know how you got away, and I don't know what you did, and I don't know who you did it to, but I'm sure glad to see that you got first prize!".'
The vast majority of Scotsmen still choose to wear nothing beneath their kilts, according to a survey out today. The survey of men north of the border revealed that 69 per cent of kilt-wearers prefer to "go commando".
Of the remainder, 14 per cent said they wore boxers and 10 per cent chose briefs - with 7 per cent admitting to falling into the rather ambiguous "other" category. One man admitted wearing a thong with a Batman motif. Researchers found that a large number of Scotsmen often made up their minds on the basis of how formal the occasion was. Many preferred to wear underwear for occasions such as weddings, while on less formal outings such as rugby matches they went without.
What about you? Do you where anything under your kilt? That is just your top secret but what to do with all those who want to get that information from you?
What do you usually answer to a curious ones when asked the most popular and 'favourite' question: What do you wear under your kilt? If you often have nothing to say or just to shy to replay maybe it is time to stand in front of the mirror and try some of those propositions of an intelligent responses:
How badly do you want to know?
How warm are your hands?
Me mother once told me a real lady wouldn't ask. She was right, God bless 'er.
My Scottish pride.
On a good day, lipstick.
Play your cards right and you can find out.
Tell me madam , would you go jogging without a bra? If so, where do you jog and when?
Sorry, I'm a bit shy and not much good with words. Give me your hand...
So which one do you like the most? Remember to answer with full confidence and right dose of humor!